सरस्वती पूजा की हार्दिक शुभकामनाएं इन हिंदी | Saraswati Puja Ki Hardik Shubhkamnaye in Hindi




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Basant Panchami Quotes in English | Basant Panchami Wishes in English | Basant Panchami Status English



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Adult Stories in English | Adult Jokes in English | Double Meaning Jokes in English




A Mother is in the Kitchen Making Dinner for Her Family When Her Daughter Walks in.

“Mom, Where Do Babies Come From?”


The Mother Thinks for a Few Seconds and Says,

“Well, Dear, Mommy and Daddy Fall in Love and Get Married. One Night They Go Into Their Bedroom, They Kiss and Hug, and Have Sex.”


The Daughter Looks Puzzled So the Mother Continues, “That Means the Daddy Puts His Penis in the Mommy’s Vagina. That’s How You Get a Baby, Honey.”



The Child Seems to Comprehend. “oh, I See, but the Other Night When I Came Into Your Room You Had Daddy’s Penis in Your Mouth. What Do You Get When You Do That?” “ Jewellery, My Dear. Jewellery.”




Wo Bulati Hai Magar Jaane Ka Nahi Status | Dp For Whatsapp, Facebook, Instagram, Tik Tok | Rahat Indori Shayari,


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Non Veg Jokes In Hindi | Funny Hindi Adult And Non Veg Restricted Jokes | Pure Non Veg Jokes In Hindi


Pure Non Veg Jokes In Hindi

एक माँ अपने परिवार के लिए खाना बनाते समय रसोई घर में थी तभी उसकी बेटी अंदर आती है। "माँ, बच्चे कहाँ से आते हैं?"

माँ कुछ सेकंड के लिए सोचती है और कहती है, “अच्छा, मम्मी और डैडी प्यार में पड़ जाते हैं और शादी कर लेते हैं। एक रात हम अपने शयन कक्ष में जाते हैं,  किस, हग और सेक्स करते है। "

बेटी हैरान दिखती है, इसलिए माँ जारी रखती है, "इसका मतलब है कि पिताजी अपने लिंग को माँ की योनि में डालते हैं। यह है कि आपको शिशु कैसे मिलता है।"

बच्चा समझ में आता है। "ओह, मैं देख रहा हूं, लेकिन दूसरी रात जब मैं आपके कमरे में आया तो आपके मुंह में डैडी का लिंग था। जब आप ऐसा करते हैं तो आपको क्या मिलता है? "आभूषण, मेरे बच्चे आभूषण। "


Non Veg Jokes In Hindi 

एक परिवार खाने की मेज पर है। बेटा पिता से पूछता है, "पिताजी, कितने प्रकार के स्तन(Boobs) हैं?"

पिता आश्चर्यचकित होकर जवाब देता है, “अच्छा, बेटा, एक औरत तीन चरणों से गुजरती है। उसके 20 के दशक में, एक महिला के स्तन खरबूजे, गोल और दृढ़ जैसे होते हैं। उसके 30 और 40 के दशक में, वे नाशपाती की तरह हैं, अभी भी अच्छे हैं, थोड़ा लटका हुआ है। 50 के बाद, वे प्याज की तरह हैं। "
"प्याज?" बेटा पूछता है।
"हाँ। आप उन्हें देखते हैं और वे आपको रुलाते हैं।

इससे उनकी पत्नी और बेटी को बुरा लगता है

बेटी पूछती है, "माँ, कितनी तरह की विलियाँ(Di*k) हैं?"

माँ मुस्कुराती है और कहती है, “अच्छा, प्रिय, एक आदमी तीन चरणों से भी गुज़रता है। 20 के दशक में, उनकी विली एक ओक के पेड़ की तरह है, शक्तिशाली और कठोर।
अपने 30 और 40 के दशक में, यह एक सन्टी, लचीला लेकिन विश्वसनीय है।
उनके 50 के दशक के बाद, यह क्रिसमस ट्री की तरह है।
"क्रिसमस पेड़?" बेटी पूछती है।
"हाँ, जड़ से मृत और गेंद सिर्फ सजावट के लिए हैं।"


Non Veg Restricted Jokes

एक शिक्षिका एक कक्षा को पढ़ा रही थी और वह देखती है कि पप्पू ध्यान नहीं दे रहा है, 

इसलिए वह उससे पूछती है, "यदि तीन बत्तख एक बाड़ पर बैठे हैं, और आप एक को गोली मारते हैं, तो कितने बचे हैं?" 
पप्पू, "कोई नहीं।" 

टीचर, "क्यों?" 
पप्पू, "क्योंकि शॉट ने उन्हें सभी से डरा दिया।" 

टीचर, "नहीं, दो, लेकिन मुझे पसंद है कि आप कैसे सोच रहे हैं।" 

पप्पू: "यदि आप तीन महिलाओं को आइसक्रीम पार्लर से बाहर निकलते हुए देखती हैं, तो कोई आइसक्रीम चाट रही  है, कोई आइसक्रीम चूस रही है, और कोई आइसक्रीम काट कर खा रही है, इनमे कौन शादीशुदा है?" 

टीचर: "कोई उसकी आइसक्रीम चूस रहा है।" 
पप्पू: "नहीं, जिसके पास शादी की अंगूठी है.  
लेकिन मुझे पसंद है कि आप कैसे सोच रही हैं!"


non veg jokes in hindi husband wife

मेरा तलाक क्यों हुआ? खैर, पिछले हफ्ते मेरा जन्मदिन था।

मेरी पत्नी ने मुझे जन्मदिन की शुभकामना नहीं दी। मेरे माता-पिता भूल गए और इसी तरह मेरे बच्चे भी।

मैं काम पर गया और मेरे साथियों ने भी मुझे जन्मदिन की शुभकामना नहीं दी।

मेरे कार्यालय में प्रवेश करते ही, मेरी सेक्रेटेरी ने कहा, "हैप्पी बर्थडे, बॉस!"
मुझे खास लगा। उसने मुझे दोपहर के भोजन के लिए कहा।

दोपहर के भोजन के बाद, उसने मुझे अपने अपार्टमेंट में आमंत्रित किया। हम वहां गए और उसने कहा, "क्या आपको बुरा लगता है अगर मैं एक मिनट के लिए बेडरूम में जाऊं?"
"ठीक है," मैंने कहा।

वह 5 मिनट बाद बर्थडे केक, मेरी पत्नी, मेरे माता-पिता, मेरे बच्चों, मेरे दोस्तों, और मेरे सहयोगियों सभी चिल्लाते हुए बाहर निकली, "सरप्राइज !!!" जब मैं सोफे पर इंतज़ार कर रहा था ... नेकेड(नग्न) ।


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Very Very Very Very Funny Jokes in Hindi | Very Very Funny Jokes in Hindi for Whatsapp


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कुछ तो खास बात है उस जगह में . . . . .
नहीं तो लोग यूही नहीं कहते “भाड़ में जाओ”
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Kuchh to Khaas Baat Hai Us Jagah Mein . . . . .
Nahin to Log Yoohee Nahin Kahate “bhaad Mein Jao”
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Very Funny Jokes on Husband Wife

पत्नी ने पति को मैसेज किया :- ऑफिस से लौटते समय सब्जी लेते आना, और हाँ, पड़ोसन ने  तुम्हारे लिए हैलो कहा है।

पति:  कौन सी पड़ोसन?
पत्नी : कोई नहीं,  मैंने मैसेज के अंत मे पड़ोसन का नाम इसलिए लिखा ताकि मैं निश्चित हो सकूं कि तुमने मेरा पूरा मैसेज पढ़ा लिया।

Patni Ne Pati Ko Message Kiya:- Office Se Lautate Samay Sabjee Lete Aana, Aur Haan, Padosan Ne  Tumhaare Lie Hailo Kaha Hai.

Pati :  Kaun See Padosan ?

Patnee : Koee Nahin,  Mainne Maisej Ke Ant Me Padosan Ka Naam Isalie Likha Taaki Main Nishchit Ho Sakoon Ki Tumane Mera Poora Maisej Padha Liya.

Very Very Funny Jokes

इतना भी नाराज नहीं होना चाहिए,
कि मनाने वाले भी बोले दे . . .
भाड़ मे जा 😂😂😂

Itana Bhee Naraj Nahin Hona Chahiye,
Ki Manane Wale Bhi Bole De . . .
Bhad Me Ja 😂😂😂


बुलेट ट्रेन तो उन देशों के लिए बनी है,
जहां लोगों के पास समय की कमी है!

हमारे यहां तो अगर कहीं जेसीबी लगी हो तो
आधा गांव तो उसे ही देखने चला जाता है...!!! 

Bullet Train to Un Desho Ke Liye Bani Hai,
Jahan Logon Ke Paas Samay Ki Kami Hai!
Hamaare Yahaan to Agar Kaheen Jcb Lagee Ho to
Aadha Gaon to Use Hee Dekhane Chala Jaata Hai...!!!

Very Very Funny Jokes in Hindi

मेरे दोस्त
जब तक सूरज चांद रहेगा
तेरी बेइज्जती करना मेरा काम रहेगा

Mere Dost
Jab Tak Suraj Chand Rahega
Teri Bezzati Karna Mera Kaam Rahega


टीचर: चॉद पर पहला कदम किसने
रखा?
पप्पू: नील आर्मस्ट्रांग ने।
टीचर: और दूसरा?
पप्पू: दूसरा भी उसी ने रखा होगा...
लंगड़ी खेलने थोड़े ही गया होगा।

Teacher: Chod Par Pehla Kadam Kisne
Rakha?
Pappu: Neil Armstrong Ne.
Teacher: Aur Doosra?
Pappu: Doosara Bhee Usee Ne Rakha Hoga...
Langadee Khelane Thode Hee Gaya Hoga.


​टीचर : एक टोकरी में 10 आम है , उसमें से २ आम सड़ गए , बताओ कितने आम बचे ?
संजू : सर , 10 आम
टीचर : वो कैसे ?
संजू : सड़ने के बाद भी आम तो आम ही रहेगा ना , केले तो बन नहीं जाएंगे

​teacher : Ek Tokaree Mein 10 Aam Hai , Usamen Se 2 Aam Sad Gae , Batao Kitne Aam Bache ?
Sanju: Sar, 10 Aam
Teacher: Vo Kaise?
Sanju: Sadane Ke Baad Bhi Aam to Aam Hi Rahega Na , Kele to Ban Nahi Jaenge


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Saheli: Tune Vishal se breakup kyu Kiya?
Salehi 2: kyuki uska naam hi Sirf Vishal tha

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Morning routines like this

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Sali: Jiju 500 Rs dedo agle hafte de dungi
Jiju: 1000 lele par abhi de

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Men's brain vs Women's brain &
How to Understand Each Other

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Sex Between 3 People is Called
Threesome
And
Between 2 People Called Twosome
Saala Aaj Pata Chala Ke Ladko
Handsome Kyu Kehte Hai...

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BF: I wanna kiss on Your Lips
GF: Upper Lips? or Lower Lips
BF: What?
GF: Horizontal Lips? or vertical Lips?
BF: I didn't Understand
GF: Jaa Beta Jaake Pogo dekh.

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Bollywood walo ki mehnat.

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After the marriage of Bade Bhaiya

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Patni: Nashta Karlo.
Husband: Sex hi Mera nashta hai.
(Aur pati sex kame lag jata haj)
Dopahar ko Patni
: Lunch Karlo.
Husband: Sex hi Mera lunch hai, •
(Aur pati sex kame lag Jata haj)
(Raat k0 jab pati ghar aata hai toh Patni panty utaar kar
heater ke aago baithi hoti haj)
Husband: Ye kya hai
Patni : Hawas ke pujari khana
garam kar rahi hun.

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LHS = RHS
hence proved

नॉन वेज जोक्स


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Sister: Didi Ye Log Pyaar Kyn Karte Ha Batao Na Plz
Leh Didi: S*x

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Girls on Facebook vs Instagram

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BF: baby I miss you
GF: Ab Kiska room khali mil gaya tujhe?

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Subah uthkar Badon ka Aashirwaad leti ek sushil Ladki

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Wo tumhe apni khubsurti se fasana chaheti
Par tum hatt lavdi bol ke aage badh jana

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ICE - L*ND

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Teacher: (a+b)^2 = a^2 + b^b + 2ab. so what's the answer?
Student: Twoooo...!

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Relatives* bete engineering se kya sikha?
Le* beta

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परखना मत, परखने में कोई अपना नहीं रहता | Parakhna Mat, Parakhne Mein Koi Apna Nahi Rahta | Bashir Badr Poetry in Hindi


परखना मत, परखने में कोई अपना नहीं रहता

परखना मत, परखने में कोई अपना नहीं रहता
किसी भी आईने में देर तक चेहरा नहीं रहता

बडे लोगों से मिलने में हमेशा फ़ासला रखना
जहां दरिया समन्दर में मिले, दरिया नहीं रहता

हजारों शेर मेरे सो गये कागज की कब्रों में
अजब मां हूं कोई बच्चा मेरा ज़िन्दा नहीं रहता

तुम्हारा शहर तो बिल्कुल नये अन्दाज वाला है
हमारे शहर में भी अब कोई हमसा नहीं रहता

मोहब्बत एक खुशबू है, हमेशा साथ रहती है
कोई इन्सान तन्हाई में भी कभी तन्हा नहीं रहता

कोई बादल हरे मौसम का फ़िर ऐलान करता है
ख़िज़ा के बाग में जब एक भी पत्ता नहीं रहता

Parakhna Mat, Parakhne Mein Koi Apna Nahi Rahta

Parakhana Mat, Parakhane Mein Koi Apana Nahin Rahata
Kisee Bhee Aaeene Mein Der Tak Chehara Nahin Rahata

Bade Logon Se Milane Mein Hamesha Fasla Rakhna
Jahaan Dariya Samandar Mein Mile, Dariya Nahin Rahata

Hajaaron Sher Mere So Gaye Kaagaj Kee Kabron Mein
Ajab Maan Hoon Koee Bachcha Mera Zinda Nahin Rahata

Tumhaara Shahar to Bilkul Naye Andaaj Vaala Hai
Hamaare Shahar Mein Bhee Ab Koee Hamasa Nahin Rahata

Mohabbat Ek Khushaboo Hai, Hamesha Saath Rahatee Hai
Koi Insaan Tanhaee Mein Bhee Kabhi Tanha Nahin Rahata

Koee Baadal Hare Mausam Ka Fir Ailaan Karata Hai
Khiza Ke Baag Mein Jab Ek Bhi Patta Nahin Rahata


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